Rob's list.

This is the list of everything I find annoying, it will never stop being added to.


People who say “I was born ready” - Seriously, stfu, you were born screaming and covered in blood, not ready for whatever stupid task you just decided to undertake.

Anime sluts - Put some goddamn clothes on.

Ramona’s distinct lack of trousers - Likewise, bitch.

My chair - It doesn't work properly and it makes stupid noises.

People who squeeze the toothpaste from the middle - WHY?! You go from the END, that way you use all of it.

Adverts for perfume that make no sense - So this woman rode a horse into a café, and then some stupidly handsome man swung in on a rope and rescued her from a gorilla? That's all well and good but wtf does it smell like?

When the top biscuit in the packet is all broken and crumbled - All the crumbs fall down the packet, or onto the floor, someone needs to find a solution to this.

Eating the last one of something without realising it was the last one - You just don't get to enjoy it, sad face.

When wires get tangled in a pocket - I put you in nice and neatly! How did you get tied into fifty thousand knots!?

People who shorten words like “u” and “r” - It's two letters retards.

The little blobs you get in your eye when you look at a bright light - They're there but they're not there, make your mind up little blobs.

When one button on the remote becomes all sticky - Oh great, now I have to SLAM the right button to channel surf.

Things I can’t afford - Which is most things, stop being advertised and taunting me.

Things I don’t own - It's a close second in length.

Reality TV shows that are shown at 3am instead of decent things - I don't want to watch some idiots sleeping damnit!

When people make “British” jokes - You know who you are.

Dial-up internet - I don't have time to be be patient!

When you do something awesome and nobody was watching, then you can’t do it again - And then nobody believes you did it, fuck you universe, I'm awesome, you just hate me.

People who steal my jokes - That was MY popularity you're claiming as your own! You don't even need it!

When you plan for every scenario except the one that eventually happens - Just typical, thanks brain.

The first song to take up a new column in the folder - There's this huge freakin empty space, it's pointless.

Overused jokes - They weren't funny the 5th time, they're not funny the 500th time!

Oddly coloured hair - People were not meant to have purple hair!

Sand - Just...no.

Dust clouds - Oh gee anime person? Did you just get killed with that awesome blow that made dust appear from nowhere? Oh no...you just wanted a dramatic build up. The worst part is the other dude is always surprised.

Moths - You're nocturnal but are attracted to light? Get up in the morning when there's the freakin' sun out!

People who attention seek - Stop it. Everyone hates you.

Waiting for things - I have other shit to do!

People who state the obvious - Well no shit.

The passage of time being linear - You're always too fast or too slow time, cut it out and actually go at the speed I want.

Hot dogs that explode in the microwave - I was hungry, now I'm not.

Taking an extra step when going up the stairs and awkwardly stumbling - Thanks feet, now I look retarded.

Music videos that are in black and white - You are not clever or artistic, you are stupid.

People who wear sunglasses indoors - That's NOT what they're for!

People who steal the 3D glasses from the cinema - You criminals.

Making jokes that just go over people’s heads - Stop being stupider than me.

When people only know one line from a song and sing it over and over - You can't like the song this much if you only know the first half of the chorus.

Doing something only to find out it didn’t need doing, ever - Time wasting at it's finest.

When you change TV channels and an awesome part just ended - Great, now I want to see it, I hate you TV.

Rap - Shut up rap artists, nobody cares about you, I hope you all die.

Sandwiches - You force me to eat the nice bit first, and leave me with the horrible dry bit to finish on, way to sell yourself.

People who say "Sammich" - Learn English, dumbass.

When people like something you've liked for ages and nobody believes you - Go away, nobody cared when I said it was awesome, but suddenly you talk about it and everyone thinks its the best thing ever.

DD - Get the hell out of my topic.

Everyone else - Stay the hell out of my topic D:<

If this list was any less funny I would have to delete it as inflammatory.....so you are lucky this time

People who try to listen to my music when I have my mp3 player on - Go away, it's my music, if you want music get your own, freak. Quit invadin' mah personal space yo.

Capcom - I bought RE5, then I bought the DLC, then they went "lolno you need the NEW version to use PSMove with it 8D". Bastards.

People who put messages to one person in their msn status (or equivalent) - That's what messages are for, dipshit.

Procrastination - It sounds good at the time, but it never pays off.

iPhone owners - We get it, you have an iPhone, stop getting it out and playing with it every 5 minutes, we don't care.

People who put the toilet roll on the holder backwards - You should tear it off at the front, it just makes sense.

Over-listening to a song - It was awesome, you listen to it all day, suddenly it doesn't feel awesome anymore.

Sports players - They all think they're cool, they're mostly dicks.

People who open potatoe chip bags upside down - SERIOUSLY?! IF YOU CAN READ IT OPEN IT LIKE THAT PEOPLE HAVE OCD GAH

People who POP the bag open - No... just no...

People who make an unfunny list - Rob... be lucky DD and an Anime Slut is on here or I'd be rather bored.

When you need something to drink and you find the cup's empty - GOD DAMN IT I AM EATING HOT CHIPS AND I AM OUT OF MILK!

People who always ask questions loudly - It's not... that... important...

When you have a technical issue and can't find help for it ON THE INTERNET - INFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY MY ASS

When women are angry with you and never outright say it - IF YOU'RE ANNOYED JUST TELL ME YA HATE ME YOU STUPID BITCH

When you get to the final boss of a video game and then you die and you start over from level 1 - FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF--

When your nose itches and you go to scratch and suddenly your nose starts bleeding - MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

Everyone and everything in every universe in all discovered and undiscovered dimesions past, present and future.

And so Rob fucked my -CURRENTLY- drunken mind